Despite angelic and lulling accounting-type qualities, tall Dan also exhibited a very, very dirty streak. Put bluntly, he’s a groper. If he was somewhat shorter and had a set of handcuffs or a riot outfit, then I might have been able to tolerate the following:
Grown man drooling
Speaking to my ample and perky bosoms as if they were the only ones in the room.
Making weird and spooky tongue contortions in an attempt to sexually lure me or the waitress.
Attempting to spoon HIS dessert into my mouth.
Him loudly referring to his manhood as “the probe” (who does that?).
As such, will now only refer to him as dirty Dan or filthy fucker.
Eric phoned and left a message, have not been able to reach him yet - maybe I won’t need to, because he’s fallen off a cliff or something (that would be sad).
Hopefully if he fell he left his wallet behind, because the bills are mounting up and I have now taken to ignoring the phone or getting Lily to answer in a fake Chinese accent. I will definitely need to look for a job this weekend, or find a non-perverted rich man.