Yipee! Woke very excited due to pending party with men in blue, used excess energy to burn fat and unused thigh muscle via walking. Was very pleased with result of three wolf whistles and two waves from truck drivers – who nearly crashed (not sure is so good).
Had long talk with Tony the hairdresser about what men want, and was informed there are two types of men; The Visual Man who is basically impressed by things such as ample bosoms, dress and knicker size, and absence of visible cellulite. Then there’s The Intellectual Man, who’s looking for a woman with substance, class and a PHD. Am now totally depressed and certain will never be able to fully satisfy any man. Although, apparently my new bed-head hair will bring even the strongest man to his knee’s. Spent condsiderable part of day looking at hair in mirror and wondering who the fuck wakes up with hair like this?
Despite sought after bed-hair, the weather has turned to absolute shit and will possibly cause me to look like stupid ass and icicle. As such, I will have two drinks before arrival at party - for warming effect, and will take cardigan along and drape over arm in a manner that does not hide fabulous summer dress.
Also, have decided will arrive fashionably late. Will make grand Scarlett O’Hara type entrance and toss bed-head around seductively whilst doing model walk learnt in grade seven from Jess (She did two classes at the local modeling school). Will hopefully achieve unapproachably beautiful status that models speak of, causing Paul to approach me in case of other law officers capturing me first.
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