Thank God it was a dream

Saw Paul in his driveway on the way to work this morning. Was very strong and managed to refrain from throwing self at the world’s hottest law enforcement officer. Only offered him polite smile in hope of igniting raging flame of love or lust for me. Ashamed to admit am now using mum’s ‘treat them mean and keep them keen’ philosophy, but felt very proud all the same, as he was vagrantly flaunting his sex-pot uniform and gun holster.

Am slightly upset at a strange dream I had in which I am imprisoned in a gaol cell in my bikini. Paul’s there doing paperwork and other police stuff - just ignoring me, like I’m a fat criminal. Thank God it was only a dream.

Also, had lunch with Lynn at work today. Was impossible to avoid as she followed me through the shopping mall. Spent entire lunch break talking shit, as was absolutely terrified if I gave her time to focus she would see gaol dream in mind and tell me I was desperate bikini slut. Very tired by end of lunch. So glad lunch was over.

Was very happy when Eric picked up Lily after school today, as he informed me he and the nanny-whore were having troubles. Will have mini-celebration toast tonight to rejoice in ex-husband’s doomed post marital relationships.