Almost Liberated

Woke with renewed zest and bounce in step. Have only one day until summer but feel will be much thinner and more attractive to potential boyfriend when he sees me. Will have to find girly frock to match new ‘Summer babe’ image.

Jess was impressed with thigh massage vigil and said when you squint, they are already looking much smoother. Am possibly becoming fitness freak, as parked at far end of carpark just for hell of it and then jogged into shops. Even managed polite smile at gooey-eyed couple in Woolworths confectionary aisle.

Jack is acting very childish when I am self-massaging, and keeps making absurd comments like “Do you need any help with that?” or “Hang on, I think you missed a spot”. He is quick to laugh it off, but will still throw hefty object at him if he speaks again during massage ritual. He’ll soon knock that shit off when he see’s my new boyfriend.

Also, am finding it rather distasteful that Paul is parading new harlot girlfriend around the neighbourhood in what looks like nothing more than her undergarments. I think if one has a girlfriend, one would at least make her dress. Hmmph.

Due to increased work hours and barren dating life, have morphed into competent, yet boring work-bimbo. Can tell am now boring, as have been looking in Kmart at lunchtime for summer fashion and comfortable shoes. Also have discovered my favourite baby-doll top is infact Target maternity top.

Despite this, I still have hopes of having a boyfriend by summer. As summer officially starts on Thursday, I don’t have any time to waste and need to take immediate action.

Things to fix so I can have a boyfriend for summer:

Rid thighs of unsightly cellulite via self massage whenever hands are free.
Throw baby doll top in Good Samaritan bin or at Target maternity staff.
Maintain general health by drinking half a glass of water for every glass of wine.
Stop frowning at happy couples in the street.

….Right, will get to it.